Reprive

(i'm not sure why the photos lose resolution when posted. that's the moon near the branches at the top.)

autorretrato

foliage

waiting for spring

perspectivas

vista(s)

Reflejos

reflections of how i feel today.

Recovery

I ran a half marathon this weekend. Since then, what were just hints of getting sick have turned into a full-blown cold. Yuck. At least I have a cool medal to show for all this.

Melancholy

Contemplation

The speed of my life

This picture reveals more about my life than I want to admit. Frenetic pace, at times. Blurry. Too much of it spent in a polluting machine.

Stop

The sign, a reminder of why I was there in the first place.

Lift

Sometimes the seconds on the edge are all that matter.

Muir Beach.

Caminos

The past two days I've been reviewing photos I've taken over the years. I've decided to post some of them here on my blog as a way to help them to come to life. I don't know much about photography; it's all intution. Something propels me to capture a moment, to bear witness. I'm drawn in when a picture reveals a dimension forgotten or missed entirely.

This photo got me thinking. There are strong beliefs in this culture about forging your own path, but this one is hundreds of years old and worn smooth by countless feet. Perhaps it might be wise to know when to take a well-worn trail or when to go out on your own. I think one can even forge his or her own path following the steps of others. You just have to make it your own, whatever it may be.

Neblina obscura

No coming, no going

Katowice, Poland

After the storm

Meditation

The start of "Mindful" by Mary Oliver reminds me to be grateful for the beauty in the world.

Every day
  I see or hear
        something
              that more or less
kills me
    with delight...

It reminds me to look, to listen, and to be.

The thin line

Part of my spiritual practice includes meditation on the breath, observing movements of inhalation and exhalation. Focusing awareness on only that, everything else falls away. Each respiration embraces life and death. The air that sustains us often goes unnoticed unless we stop and be present.

This past week, I learned of the death of a former elementary school classmate. Since I lived in a rural area, the school I attended was very small and everyone knew everyone else, at least on some level. He moved two towns over after graduating from high school and had married someone from there. They had two children.

I didn’t know him well, though, and didn't have any contact with him after I moved away after graduating. But my heart goes out to the family, because in a matter of breaths, they no longer had a husband or a father.

May they eventually find peace in the sorrow.

My mind still can’t make sense of his death or the meaning of it. I don’t think I have ever understood death beyond its most basic conception.

Returning to my breath, I do realize that this moment is a miracle, and I give thanks.

Hola

This year, I want to try to do more writing of any sort. I failed miserably with NANOWRIMO, but to my credit, some uninvited beings set up shop in my lungs and began building their own unsanctioned community. They didn't leave until it was too late. I would have had to write nearly 4k words per day, in addition to getting caught up with everything else in my life after being sick.

So my other goal is to really focus on my health. I'm tired of having how I feel physically affect what I can and can't do, and I don't want all my energy to go to just one part of my life. Running really helps when I can do it. I just need to keep myself at a place where I can.

It wouldn't be a new year without a list, so here's some of what else I'd like to do during the next 12 months:

• Teach a meditation class at a local prision
• Participate in NANOWRIMO
• Take a jewlery making class
• Bake a loaf of bread

It's all out there for the universe to see. I think all my goals from years past still apply, except for running a marathon. Not this year. My motto for this year is shorter and slower.

Adios, 2009!

Happy New Year, everyone! The end of 2009 couldn't have come sooner, but, really, it wasn't a bad year. I learned through challenges, explored through travels and connected with family and friends. The highlights would have to be completing the El Paso Marathon and hiking the Grand Canyon. The rest was mundane, but in a good way.

I'm also happy to enter a new decade. The past ten years have been like a weeklong visit from an old friend with whom I hadn't remained in close contact. I still care about her and enjoy her company, but spending time with her each day is wearing energetically. When she finally leaves, a temporary wave of sadness passes over me and is quickly replaced with relief. I then focus on recharging my inner reserves as I pull inward.

I hope for health, peace and stability for 2010. May I be a calm presence in an often chaotic world. I'll leave you with a quote that has brought me peace in 2009.

          "Do not be impatient with your seemingly slow progress. Do not try to run faster than you presently  
          can. If you are studying, reflecting and trying, you are making progress whether you are aware of it or
          not. A traveler walking the road in the darkness of night is still going forward. Someday, some way, 
          everything will break open, like the natural unfolding of a rosebud."
         Vernon Howard
 
I wish you love, joy and happiness as we enter the new year.

NaNoWriMo, here I come

This was my October marathon: hiking the Grand Canyon. It was absolutely beautiful beyond words but absofuckinlutely* tough. Due to varying circumstances, I didn't have time to train adequately, and now my body is rebelling and giving me more of the same crud I had last year. Meh. But it was worth it.
On Sunday, I start my next adventure. Succumbing to yet another challenge (or maybe pure insanity), I've decided to write a novel next month. It's part of National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo. All it requires is writing 50,000 words in 30 days! So, yeah. It should be exciting, or something. I think I'll like the disciple of knowing I have to write 1,667 words per day. They don't even have to be quality. To quote NaNoWrimo, "Make no mistake: You will write a lot of crap. And that's a good thing. By forcing yourself to write so intensely, you are giving yourself permission to make mistakes. To forgo the endless tweaking and editing and just create. To build without tearing down." My kind of challenge, and a reminder that writing is not editing. I have a vague outline of the novel, but most of it will be improvised as I go along. I can't wait to see what unfolds.

*Yay for infixes!