(Above: Jamaica flower, backyard, Burque, NM)I had to download pictures from my camera to the new computer. I thought I'd share some of my memories from travels and time...
Stinson Beach, CA
8.22.2008
Memorias
(Above: Jamaica flower, backyard, Burque, NM)I had to download pictures from my camera to the new computer. I thought I'd share some of my memories from travels and time...
The week in review
I'm always amazed at how one thing can throw off my equilibrium. I'd like to be able to say one small thing, but my calm week ended with a bang. I'm getting ahead of myself, though.
Barack Obama came to the 505 for a town hall meeting. Since he was here on a Monday and I had a ticket, I went. It was my first time seeing a presidential candidate, if you don't count the two times I saw Dennis Kucinich. After hearing Obama, I do feel more enthusiastic about supporting him. I'm fed up with the way things are. Being an armchair activist is no longer enough; I've decided to volunteer.
Later that day I played volleyball for the first time in eight years. It was fun. But I then hurt. All over. I'm better now. I'll do it again this Monday.
I can't say how much better my life is now that I'm only working four long days per week instead of five. I feel better. I'm hesitant to say it, but I've been feeling good...
I was supposed to go to Ohio to see my friend Melody next week, but the two weeks I gave myself between trips wasn't enough time. October will be better.
That leaves me in Burque over Labor Day weekend. When I realized that I will be here for the New Mexico Marathon, I initially thought I should do the half. Then I hesitated because I just "ran" one earlier in the month. I thought my sister would be impressed with my sound judgement, but she told me I should probably do it. So I will. Not that I blindly follow her advice. I am the big sister, after all. But she is an exercise physiologist and the inspiration for me to run.
After a tranquil week, I had to extinguish a quick-burning problem at 5 PM today. It's not completely out, but contained. Sometimes that's all that can be done. I'm learning to be fine with it. At least I have next week to try to get things right.
Barack Obama came to the 505 for a town hall meeting. Since he was here on a Monday and I had a ticket, I went. It was my first time seeing a presidential candidate, if you don't count the two times I saw Dennis Kucinich. After hearing Obama, I do feel more enthusiastic about supporting him. I'm fed up with the way things are. Being an armchair activist is no longer enough; I've decided to volunteer.
Later that day I played volleyball for the first time in eight years. It was fun. But I then hurt. All over. I'm better now. I'll do it again this Monday.
I can't say how much better my life is now that I'm only working four long days per week instead of five. I feel better. I'm hesitant to say it, but I've been feeling good...
I was supposed to go to Ohio to see my friend Melody next week, but the two weeks I gave myself between trips wasn't enough time. October will be better.
That leaves me in Burque over Labor Day weekend. When I realized that I will be here for the New Mexico Marathon, I initially thought I should do the half. Then I hesitated because I just "ran" one earlier in the month. I thought my sister would be impressed with my sound judgement, but she told me I should probably do it. So I will. Not that I blindly follow her advice. I am the big sister, after all. But she is an exercise physiologist and the inspiration for me to run.
After a tranquil week, I had to extinguish a quick-burning problem at 5 PM today. It's not completely out, but contained. Sometimes that's all that can be done. I'm learning to be fine with it. At least I have next week to try to get things right.
8.16.2008
Thursday, the new Wednesday
I went to a four-day workweek, Tues-Fri. This was my first week trying the new schedule. It wasn't a huge difference because most days I had been putting in well over 8 hours. Tuesday kicked my butt, though, being back in the office after vacation, and having a million things scheduled. I wasn't sure if I could make it, but I did.
The best part, though, is waking up on a Saturday morning knowing I still have today and two more full days before I return to work. I'll finally have sufficient time to rest, get things done, and get physical. Finally...
The best part, though, is waking up on a Saturday morning knowing I still have today and two more full days before I return to work. I'll finally have sufficient time to rest, get things done, and get physical. Finally...
Changes
Every year, when the heat becomes unbearable, the monsoon clouds roll in. If we're lucky, our rainy season begins. It becomes miserably humid* but not as hot. Finally, one day the air changes. A cool breeze blows. It's still warm, but one can tell that summer is beginning to lose its hold.
I've noticed that it felt different when I went outside in the mornings this week. Today, I smelled change. I don't know how to explain it-only a waft of fall, but it's on its way. It makes me happy.
*Miserable means levels of humidity at 40% or higher. I know most of you in steamier areas are probably rolling your eyes. We're just not used to feeling sweaty!
I've noticed that it felt different when I went outside in the mornings this week. Today, I smelled change. I don't know how to explain it-only a waft of fall, but it's on its way. It makes me happy.
*Miserable means levels of humidity at 40% or higher. I know most of you in steamier areas are probably rolling your eyes. We're just not used to feeling sweaty!
8.12.2008
8.08.2008
The pursuit of happiness?
After reading Eric Weiner's The Geography of Bliss last month, I've begun to ponder the role of happiness in life. I really hadn't thought about it much, besides reflecting on whether or not I'm happy. Since finishing the book, I've noticed several references to the psychology of happiness in other places.
It was an interesting, if sometimes incomplete, read. I was drawn initially to the chapter on Bhutan's "gross national happiness." Weiner visits several other countries and devotes a chapter each, looking at what causes people to be happy in those places (with the exception of unhappy Moldova). The answers ranged from having clean toilets to being able to trust those around you.
As I was reading the book, though, I wondered if the wrong term was discussed. Being happy is an emotional state that's subject to change. The sources of happiness identified in the book were primarily external.
If I had to rank my happiness these days, it would rank pretty high, higher than it was a few years ago. Of course, I still get bouts of cynicism and anxiousness when I feel that things are getting out of control. However, when I stop and calm myself, I see something that's deeper and more constant than the variable emotions. I'm not sure what to call it: centeredness, satisfaction, or equanimity?
Whatever it is, it's there, too, when I'm happy. And while having this centeredness has helped me to be happier, it's not happiness. It's something more.
Maybe it doesn't need to be named.
Or studied.....
Or written about.....
The End.
It was an interesting, if sometimes incomplete, read. I was drawn initially to the chapter on Bhutan's "gross national happiness." Weiner visits several other countries and devotes a chapter each, looking at what causes people to be happy in those places (with the exception of unhappy Moldova). The answers ranged from having clean toilets to being able to trust those around you.
As I was reading the book, though, I wondered if the wrong term was discussed. Being happy is an emotional state that's subject to change. The sources of happiness identified in the book were primarily external.
If I had to rank my happiness these days, it would rank pretty high, higher than it was a few years ago. Of course, I still get bouts of cynicism and anxiousness when I feel that things are getting out of control. However, when I stop and calm myself, I see something that's deeper and more constant than the variable emotions. I'm not sure what to call it: centeredness, satisfaction, or equanimity?
Whatever it is, it's there, too, when I'm happy. And while having this centeredness has helped me to be happier, it's not happiness. It's something more.
Maybe it doesn't need to be named.
Or studied.....
Or written about.....
The End.
8.07.2008
Le Fin
I couldn't wait to reach the finish line to eat the bananas awaiting us.But nothing says "good job" like being handed a flaxseed pumpkin bar upon completing a race.
8.06.2008
Summertime bounty
Pesto made from freshly picked basil.
Tonight, zucchini soup.
Tomorrow, eggplant and tofu.
yum...
Tonight, zucchini soup.
Tomorrow, eggplant and tofu.
yum...
upon return
First, the weather...
It was in the 60s when I left San Francisco yesterday, and 106 degrees in Phoenix. By the time I made it back to Burque, a rain shower had rolled in, making the temp a balmy 72. Beautiful.
The poem "Mindful" by Mary Oliver was my meditation for the trip. It starts:
Every day
I see or I hear
something
that more or less
Kills me
with delight...
I must have died a thousand little deaths these past two weeks. The plants, animals, people, air, water, rocks...
Highlights: eating ethiopian food, traveling with family and friends, enjoying vinho in wine country, reading as much as I wanted, soaking, sticking my feet in the cold ocean.
The race: I earned the bling! And I got to run over this:
It was in the 60s when I left San Francisco yesterday, and 106 degrees in Phoenix. By the time I made it back to Burque, a rain shower had rolled in, making the temp a balmy 72. Beautiful.
The poem "Mindful" by Mary Oliver was my meditation for the trip. It starts:
Every day
I see or I hear
something
that more or less
Kills me
with delight...
I must have died a thousand little deaths these past two weeks. The plants, animals, people, air, water, rocks...
Highlights: eating ethiopian food, traveling with family and friends, enjoying vinho in wine country, reading as much as I wanted, soaking, sticking my feet in the cold ocean.
The race: I earned the bling! And I got to run over this:
This trip helped me feel "normal" again, whatever that ephemeral term means. After a year focused on work and establishing myself professionally, I realized I need a lot more play in my life. Today I did yoga in the morning and spent the rest of the day relaxing and doing laundry.
I realize that even when I'm off, I have a habit (or maybe more of an addiction) to checking my work email. So, I did, mostly to reassure myself that nothing catastrophic had happened. It didn't, but I did find out that we had gotten a grant for more than the amount requested.
Now, I need to clean the house before my mother arrives tomorrow.
Life is good.
7.20.2008
They say "a 20-minute walk" like it's a bad thing
What have things come to? That a walk 1+ miles is an inconvenience?
Sometimes I lament that I should be in better shape. I know I should. But when I hear someone cautioning me that I might want to consider staying in a different building at a retreat center because it's too far removed from everything else, I start to wonder. Removed, to me, means far, as in way more than a mile. I chuckled when the reservation person said "well, it's a 20 minute walk from the main buildings."
That's exactly the point. First, I don't need to be only meters away from everything else. This will be time to recharge without all the distractions. Second, what better way to recharge by taking a leisurely stroll outdoors to go to the hot springs and places to eat.
I put it into perspective when I'm upset that I only ran 3 miles or that I didn't make it to the top of a mountain. Maybe just I'm getting überanalytical about this, but 20 minutes ain't got nothin' on me.
Sometimes I lament that I should be in better shape. I know I should. But when I hear someone cautioning me that I might want to consider staying in a different building at a retreat center because it's too far removed from everything else, I start to wonder. Removed, to me, means far, as in way more than a mile. I chuckled when the reservation person said "well, it's a 20 minute walk from the main buildings."
That's exactly the point. First, I don't need to be only meters away from everything else. This will be time to recharge without all the distractions. Second, what better way to recharge by taking a leisurely stroll outdoors to go to the hot springs and places to eat.
I put it into perspective when I'm upset that I only ran 3 miles or that I didn't make it to the top of a mountain. Maybe just I'm getting überanalytical about this, but 20 minutes ain't got nothin' on me.
7.19.2008
It's been one of those weeks...
...where everything that could go wrong has. I don't know what it was. Communication was all over the place. Being questioned about things that were irrelevant. I wondered why everyone is staring at me only to come to find I've had spinach in my teeth. It wasn't there after I ate, I promise! I even checked. All I can do is laugh. at myself. incessantly.
Today was a breakthrough. I worked most of the day. I came to a little truce with myself that I needed to push myself in order to have things done. So I can relax on my trip. Which is only 5 days away. I don't know why I'm fragment-crazy. It's just. the way. my mind works. these days.
LB got a new computer. Yea! Now I'll be able to waste time again!
I did go on a run around the 'hood. Ready as I'm going to be.
And this is where I'm staying in California:
Check out http://www.harbin.org/. I'm so there.
Today was a breakthrough. I worked most of the day. I came to a little truce with myself that I needed to push myself in order to have things done. So I can relax on my trip. Which is only 5 days away. I don't know why I'm fragment-crazy. It's just. the way. my mind works. these days.
LB got a new computer. Yea! Now I'll be able to waste time again!
I did go on a run around the 'hood. Ready as I'm going to be.
And this is where I'm staying in California:
Check out http://www.harbin.org/. I'm so there.
7.12.2008
Impermanence
The computer at my home completely crashed last weekend. Since then I've had limited computer access-I probably will for the next few weeks or months, except for when I'll be in Califas for almost two weeks.
My trip's slowly coming together. Everyone asks me, "Do you know anyone out there? Do you have family?" No. I'm planning to take part of my trip alone. I need the time to decompress and regroup. It's been a pretty hard six months because I haven't had time to let go of everything. Or maybe I just haven't felt that I could do it here with all the responsibilities I have.
My sister and her friend will be joining me toward the end. We're all running the SFO First Half Marathon, my first race with a time limit. Under normal circumstances the cutoff wouldn't be a problem, but my life and my health have been anything but normal lately. I know I can do it; however, if I can't make it by the time required, I go on my own or I take a taxi back to where I need to be. It really is that simple.
One observation I've made about my life recently is that so many of the things I do bring me back to my breath. Playing the flute, running, meditating. It's not about what might happen or what I'm not doing. They all remind me of what's essential. I'm grateful for this moment.
My trip's slowly coming together. Everyone asks me, "Do you know anyone out there? Do you have family?" No. I'm planning to take part of my trip alone. I need the time to decompress and regroup. It's been a pretty hard six months because I haven't had time to let go of everything. Or maybe I just haven't felt that I could do it here with all the responsibilities I have.
My sister and her friend will be joining me toward the end. We're all running the SFO First Half Marathon, my first race with a time limit. Under normal circumstances the cutoff wouldn't be a problem, but my life and my health have been anything but normal lately. I know I can do it; however, if I can't make it by the time required, I go on my own or I take a taxi back to where I need to be. It really is that simple.
One observation I've made about my life recently is that so many of the things I do bring me back to my breath. Playing the flute, running, meditating. It's not about what might happen or what I'm not doing. They all remind me of what's essential. I'm grateful for this moment.
6.27.2008
Amor
I'm ashamed to admit it: I'm in love with these shoes. They're part of what started the spending frenzy in Chicago. But if I would've known they're just as comfy as cute, I would have gotten four pairs instead of two. (the brown ones are in my closet, too!) I love me some Skechers.
Battles won
For many years, there has never been an alpha animal in my home. The cats will fight, but it's more about not loosing than actually winning. We joke that it's the "battle for the middle," but that's changing. Beto has no fear of the big guys and will even start eating the other cat's food. Pretty brave stuff for a 2 lb. cat. I think once he gets big enough, he'll be on top.
In other news, finally I'm organized! I spent a few hours yesterday and today getting things in order, so I can now work on other projects. My workload expectation is decreasing, so I'm hoping that will make a difference in my daily activities.
And I got my provisional license this week. All that's left for me is to take the exam. I'm tempted to sign up to take it in three weeks, just to get it out of the way. I'll postpone studying until the week before the exam no matter when I schedule it; why delay? Then I'll have it out of the way when I go on vacation.
My biggest battle the past few weeks has been getting over a "cold" (they get even more exciting when your immune system's already trying to recover from something else) and the stomach flu. I was out of work for about a week, but now I'm back with a vengeance.
Only five more weeks until the SF half-marathon. I'm not going down without a fight.
In other news, finally I'm organized! I spent a few hours yesterday and today getting things in order, so I can now work on other projects. My workload expectation is decreasing, so I'm hoping that will make a difference in my daily activities.
And I got my provisional license this week. All that's left for me is to take the exam. I'm tempted to sign up to take it in three weeks, just to get it out of the way. I'll postpone studying until the week before the exam no matter when I schedule it; why delay? Then I'll have it out of the way when I go on vacation.
My biggest battle the past few weeks has been getting over a "cold" (they get even more exciting when your immune system's already trying to recover from something else) and the stomach flu. I was out of work for about a week, but now I'm back with a vengeance.
Only five more weeks until the SF half-marathon. I'm not going down without a fight.
6.08.2008
Lazy Sunday List
- Because my sister ran six miles yesterday, I thought I had to do the same. So I did-in the bosque moonlight. Since I didn't want the coyotes to find me, I felt I was running faster, but my time was the slowest it's been. It wasn't until I got home that I saw I only had to run 5 miles. Thanks, Meg!
- I'm excited about traveling. I wish I could take the rest of the summer off. Seriously.
- Things are getting a little bit out of control with the animals. Because two of the chickens are not laying now, I'd like to get two more. Figuring out where to keep chicks and how to introduce them to the backyard becomes a challenge when factoring in all the other animals that live here.
- I have a hankerin' to go to Utah, which tops the top of my list for the most beautiful states. It's a place where I feel more centered.
- While talking about things I'd like to do, hiking La Luz is on the top of my list. My vague physical ailments have kept me from doing this over the past two years, but I'm ready to get off my ass and do this.
- What's the deal with the freakin' layout?
- I know of an organization that asks its employees to refrain from using language related to violence. I wonder what they call bullet points.
- Hmmm...thinking about all the hiking makes me tired. Maybe I should vegetate all summer. I don't do well in the heat normally, anyway.
6.07.2008
Summertime
It's hot here; it's the time of the year when I hide inside during the middle part of the day because the sun is just too hot. To keep me company on these sultry days, I have a new companion, Beto. Here he is:
He's a good boy, already using the scratching post, umm...or the arm of the couch.
(random rant: I wish I knew html so I could control the layout of these posts)
He's a good boy, already using the scratching post, umm...or the arm of the couch.I adopted him from my flute teacher, so I've gotten to see him grow each time I went for my lesson. After he was born, my teacher asked if I wanted to see her new kittens that she needed to give away. I had made up my mind to not get too attached to them, but I'd wanted to get a solid gray kitten for a long while now. Since I couldn't say no, Beto is the newest addition to the straggly menagerie inhabiting my home. He's sleeping on my shoulder as I type.
In other news, I've started planning my trips for the summer. My agenda: northern California, San Antonio, and Ohio. Total of all the air travel: less than $250. It'll probably be the last time I will be able to say that. I'll be able to have some time alone and be able to catch up with family and friends during my travels.
I'll leave you with this poem about ABQ:
I live in a small town called Burque
That was known as being a bit quirky.
Then they adopted the "Q"
Its significance, I haven't a clue.
meaning is rather quite murky.
(random rant: I wish I knew html so I could control the layout of these posts)
6.04.2008
Poetry Pah-tee
Señor Creepy
There once was a cat named Stozz,
Who materialized like Dorthy in Oz.
He decided to stay,
and I regretted the day
He fondled me with his own paws.
___________________________
There once was a girl from Westside
Who took all her training in stride.
She never was fast,
For she often was last,
But that never injured her pride.
________________________
There once was a cat named Stozz,
Who materialized like Dorthy in Oz.
He decided to stay,
and I regretted the day
He fondled me with his own paws.
___________________________
There once was a girl from Westside
Who took all her training in stride.
She never was fast,
For she often was last,
But that never injured her pride.
________________________
5.28.2008
El tiempo loco
Since I was getting a little stir crazy, I decided to take a mini-vacation over the long weekend. When I left town on Friday, it was 52 degrees in Burque, 40 cooler than earlier in the week. As I went over the Glorieta Pass to northern NM and the temperature dipped into the 30s, I thought, the roads might freeze tonight! It had rained earlier in the day, and the interstate was still wet. It's been a crazy spring.
On Saturday, instead of doing my "long" run, I decided to take advantage of the beautiful weather and scenery. So I climbed this:
I'm not sure how I made it to the top, other than putting one foot in front of the other. It kicked my ass more than any five-mile run could.
This week hasn't been too hectic. I took the big step today of filling out the paperwork for my independent license. It should all be in the mail by next week. Now I need to start studying for the exam...
I always find something to fill up my free time!
On Saturday, instead of doing my "long" run, I decided to take advantage of the beautiful weather and scenery. So I climbed this:
I'm not sure how I made it to the top, other than putting one foot in front of the other. It kicked my ass more than any five-mile run could.
This week hasn't been too hectic. I took the big step today of filling out the paperwork for my independent license. It should all be in the mail by next week. Now I need to start studying for the exam...
I always find something to fill up my free time!
5.18.2008
Balance
The past two weeks I've begun running regularly. My strength's come back, and I feel good. I didn't realize how much I've needed to get back into this, not only for the phyiscal benefits, but also for the mental and emotional effects. The past twelve months have been such a struggle for me. I didn't feel centered; most of the time I was stressed. I hadn't been able to run for most of that time. It wasn't until this weekend that I determined that a good part of my high stress level had to do with not running.
It helps me to relax. I'm able to let go of whatever else is going on with my life.
Although now 4 miles is the new 10 miler and I'm pretty tired by the time I finish, I'm feeling better than I have in the last year. Another benefit of running is that it gives me structure in my schedule. If I have to do a run in the evening, then I know I can't work to late.
Running gets me outside. I hate running on treadmills, so I spend more time in nature. Yesterday, I had the joy of seeing a pheasant in the bosque at the end of my run.
It feels good to be centered again.
It helps me to relax. I'm able to let go of whatever else is going on with my life.
Although now 4 miles is the new 10 miler and I'm pretty tired by the time I finish, I'm feeling better than I have in the last year. Another benefit of running is that it gives me structure in my schedule. If I have to do a run in the evening, then I know I can't work to late.
Running gets me outside. I hate running on treadmills, so I spend more time in nature. Yesterday, I had the joy of seeing a pheasant in the bosque at the end of my run.
It feels good to be centered again.
5.14.2008
Bliss
Rain came-twice-in the last 24 hours. I didn't have to get up early to water the garden. Today was deliciously cool. Living in the desert makes me long for cloudy, dreary days like this.
Work's slowed down. I found out I'll be going to San Francisco for a conference later this summer. This will on my agenda, too.
Tonight, on one of my training runs, I thought I made a mistake when I ran an 11 minute mile. Granted, it was just one, but my car's odometer confirmed the distance.
My friend and I have found a wonderful Cuban restaurant, where we had lunch. And I had two cafes con leche. Heaven...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)